You probably had to be there

Sometimes in life, we are presented with two choices, neither one of them palatable.  We must shore up our resolve, look deep within ourselves, and embrace our destiny!  Many great scholars have expounded on this profound theme, and I shall nobly carry on their philosophical torch!  You’re welcome!

[Prepare for the hand-wringing dilemma.]  One fine day I was out motoring about in our minivan, enjoying the sights of springtime in the country.  I crested a hill and behold!  I had mere seconds in which to decide:

1) Do I drive directly over a giant, freshly dead yet obscenely intact mound of possum larger than my preschooler?

or

2) Steer gently around it and smash headfirst in to an oncoming Mack truck?

Okay, so technically speaking, I suppose there was not a huge decision to be made here.  (Even though it was so BIG!)  I can tell you, however, that as the van SHOOK with a resounding CRUNCH as I drove through it’s SKULL I squealed/shrieked “Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!” like a prissy toddler girl covered in spiders.  Honestly, not one of my finer moments.  Rolling green pastures and little baby cows are charming advantages to living in the country; oversized rat corpses, not so much. 

 

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May 9, 2008. Uncategorized.

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