Mental illness and fuzzy bunnies

So, Blaaahg, have you noticed that at times I have sounded a little flat, maybe mildly acerbic?  (No?  You are too polite.)  Have you noticed me not writing in you as much as I wanted to, because I did not want to?  (Yes, of course that makes sense.  If you are me, at least.)  The truth is I have been struggling with a pervasive depression the past few months.  I had postpartum depression after every pregnancy, with a few bonus rounds in between, so the feelings were very familiar.  It started out mildly enough, and I hoped that this time might be different, maybe I could fight it off, or will it away, but in the end I started going downhill fast, and could barely be a mother when I could not even function as a person.  So I made the doctor appointment, and she lunged for her prescription pad as soon as she saw me dragging my unshowered, twitching self down the hallway to her office.

The causes of depression are different for everyone, for me it is a definite chemical imbalance in my brain, borne out by a family history of unbalanced relatives (Rock on, crazy genes!  I continue your legacy!)  (Of course my grandmother had nine children, and if anything qualifies you to be mentally unstable that would do it.)  That, and the fact that my mother loved my brother more than me.  (Oh, I jest, mom!  Except that it is true.)  (Joking again!  Just because he is your favorite does not mean you love him more!)  I started the medicine a little over a week ago, and where I was drowning under heavy dark clouds I can now feel myself inching back towards normal, which is an incredible relief.  So my upcoming posts will now be about fluffy puppies and sparkling rainbows!  (Okay, maybe that’s not exactly how it works…)  But hopefully I will get my spunky back soon, I have missed it.

 

So anyway, Blaaahg, (let’s be fancy!) I will continue to educate you on the mystery that is the mind of Jennifer by telling you:

SOMETHING I LIKE- the word “verisimilitude”.  I like to repeat it out loud, faster and faster, until it sounds like “versimilitudeversimilitudeversimilitude”.  It is fun for my mouth.  I am a hit at parties, let me tell you.

SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE- the commercial for Countrywide mortgage refinancing, where the guy encourages you to call about a “refi.”  Each and every time he says that word I cringe.  Depending on my mood I may shriek back at the television “It’s refiNANCE, moron!  Or should I call you MO?”  (Who says I need meds?)

SOMETHING I AM TRULY DIVIDED ON- bunny rabbits.  Specifically the ones that have gnawed through my entire garden.  On one hand they are so cute, really really cute, and I am happy to have provided food for them.  On the other hand, the hand that planted approximately 142 petunias, every time I see a bunny near my flowers I want to run out there in my housecoat and scruffy slippers to chase them away with a broom.  No, of course I don’t wear a housecoat and scruffy slippers, but if I’m going to be the crazy lady chasing things out of her yard I will need to look the part, and it is either that or wear curlers and smell like cabbage.  And curlers take so long to put in.

 

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May 19, 2008. Tags: , , . Uncategorized.

One Comment

  1. Mom replied:

    Stop saying your brother is my favorite!!

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