“I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.” Mark Twain

I got to go to the dentist yesterday!  Just me, no kids- it was like a mini vacation.  I was reclining in the padded chair, relaxing to the cheeseball easy listening music (Dear Celine- my heart would go on and on and on too, if carried by your gazillions of dollars) and wondering where the dentist was, because he was taking for-ev-er, when I accidentally FELL ASLEEP.

I have no idea how long I dozed for, all I remember is waking with startled jerk that nearly made me lose my bib.  And let me tell you, this whole thing would have been way funnier had there not been a line of people laughing at me.  That tends to send amusement edging towards, um, humiliation.  (And I know I can’t be the first person to fall asleep in a dental office.  Right?  Anyone?)

(Dear Dentist- if you are going to go through the trouble of punching a giant needle through my jaw, can you at least wait for a little numbness before grinding my tooth in to dust with your power tools?  That would be swell.  Thanks so much.)

My hygienist was one of those people that randomly bursts in to song in public.  I am always startled when I am reading an ingredient list in the cereal aisle of the food store and the person standing next to me starts karaokeing along to the elevator music.  Being that un-self-conscious about singing is a novel thought to me, as I warble like a strangling cat.  (I know I can’t be the only person that lip syncs the Happy Birthday song.  Right?  Anyone?  Anyone at all?)   

In fact, on the rare occasions that I am moved to wail along to the radio in the car, I am immediately joined by a unanimous chorus of “Stooop it, Mommy!”  At first I was offended, but I have since made peace with the fact that my talents lie elsewhere.  Like procrastination, for instance!  And napping!  I could win a medal for napping!  I probably would have already if the herd of children that appear to live in my house would quit interfering with my nap training schedule


June 21, 2008. Uncategorized.

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