Vacation- Part 2!

Listen?  Do you hear that?!  No?  Because it’s quiet.  Quiet!  The “internet access” is a little computer hiding in the corner of the resort’s convenience store (minio-marto).  I am huddled under snack food displays but it it quiet and air conditioned so I am HAPPY.  I have SO MUCH TO SAY that I am CONFIDENT I shall forget most of it.  (But at least I hear quiet!)

My Q&A post drew such rave reviews I thought I would try a revolutionary true/false form this time.  Okay, I maybe did not actually technically receive rave reviews, but I know you were thinking them, and it is the thought that counts.

So I could tell you about how after we got off of the airplane the baggage handler turned off the conveyor belt when (for once!) my kids were NOT EVEN MISBEHAVING so that our fellow 154 passengers could turn around to stare at us, and LEFT IT OFF for a full ten seconds after that JUST FOR FUN.  (Not like all of our fellow passengers didn’t love us ALREADY.)  And I could tell you how Andrew played with a slice of lime in the sun and somehow ended up COVERED IN BLISTERS because maybe Mexican limes are very very mean.  But honestly, I’m trying to block out those memories.  Also, the minio- marto interneto costs approximately thirty dollars a minute, and I type slow.  True or False!

     Your plane did not crash, and no one has drowned yet.  That means so far this vacation is a success!


     Your period ended last week, so you must not be hemorrhaging like someone severed one of your limbs!

     False!  My body laughs at “regular cycles”, as well as “vacation” and “bathing suit”!  I have bought out the minio-marto’s stock of tampones (con aplicado!)

     That was way more information than anyone wanted to know.

     True!  But I don’t care!  Because this is about me!  Me me me!

     Wow, you sound cranky.  Surely your family vacation has afforded you much rest and relaxation.


     The kids have pools and an ocean to occupy them, they are probably behaving, right?


     Is the sand… sandy?

     True!  It is!  Very sandy!

Actually the kids have been okayish enough.  Unless they are tired, or cranky, or awake, or it’s a weekday, or someone else has the red/blue/green floatie/toy/ball, in which case we are visited by our friend Violence, and his next door neighbor Retaliation.  Which believe you me is way more fun when you are holding a plastic shovel.

     You have eaten a loaded platter of nachos at every meal.

     False!  They are not on the breakfast menu.


Ack!  Time is up and the computer will explode, or something!  Forgive the non-proofreading, I will try to steal away again!  For some inexplicable reason my husband is not too enthusiastic about me disappearing, leaving him dripping with children.  (Yo love vacationo!)


July 2, 2008. Uncategorized.

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