If you only have daughters, or your children are under the age of atrocious , you may wish to avert your eyes

While the twins are still very high maintenance (fighting, tantrums, drawing on walls), it is so nice to see that it does get easier as kids get older.  Michael and Matthew (8and 6) squabble occasionally, but in general get along pretty well, and are able to amuse themselves fairly independently.  Sometimes, it is even possible to accomplish something with them around.  (Who would have guessed?!  Not me!)  This morning they hatched a scheme to fill little spray bottles with water, and squirt ants out on the sidewalk.  They were happily occupied, so I decided to do something crazy: The Dishes.  As in rubber gloves, sponge, soap, water- a highly complex operation!  It was so nice to actually accomplish something, I didn’t even mind them running in and out of the house (door slamming) to refill their bottles in the bathroom.  Sure, they were noisy, and making a mess, but they’re boys!  Around here, if no one is screaming like they are being murdered, then it is considered positively peaceful

My positively peaceful scrubbing was interrupted by Michael, who informed me that Matthew PEED in his squirt bottle, added a little water (for volume?) and sprayed him with it.  SURELY Matthew was joking about such a prank!  Because no one would actually do that, right?  Because that’s…repulsive?!  Except that no, he wasn’t joking.  He proudly admitted what he had done, because as everyone knows, pee is HILARIOUS!  Do you know what is funnier than urine?  Nothing!!  Ha ha ha ha!  Comedy gold!

Needless to say, mommy was not NEARLY as amused as he was.  She is STILL devising a proper punishment, because no matter what she says or does, it’s still about pee!  Which is SO FUNNY!  And a consequence is not all that effective when one is laughing hysterically.  So if anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this, short of tying his peenus (ha ha!  Pee!  Endlessly amusing!) in to a knot, which is slightly tempting, but most likely not actually legal, feel free to share them with me.  Growing up (as a girl) I tinkled in to the toilet.  THE END.  Birthing a herd of deranged males has thrown me in to completely uncharted territory, for which I am woefully unprepared

What did I say earlier?  It gets easier as they mature?  Ha ha ha ha ha!!!  That is ALMOST as funny as pee!  (Pee!)  (It never gets old, I tell you!)


July 16, 2008. Tags: . Uncategorized.

One Comment

  1. Jennifer replied:

    LOL!!! I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel…..however, I haven’t even found the tunnel yet.

    Rileigh pooped this morning and seemed to somehow MISS her diaper and being the prissy girl that she is…..she was flipping out that there was poop on her shoe and that was “gross”

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