I promise to write about something else next time (like boogers!)

So I’m SURE everyone has been clinging to the edge of their seats in anticipation of how we handled The Pee Situation.

(Wait!  Why are you leaving?  Where did everyone go?!  Everyone knows pee is funny!)

We were pretty dumbfounded, so we tried to imagine “What would a Good Parent do in this type of situation?”  Gathering our patience and wisdom, we sat down with Matthew and had an earnest discussion.  “Big boys tinkle in the potty.  If you won’t act like a big boy, then we can’t give you big boy privileges.  Your bodily fluids not only carry germs, but are offensive to other people.  Blah blah manners blah blah set example for your little brothers blah blah etc. etc.”

He listened intently, considered this information gravely, and prepared his humble apology.  That went something like “Yeah, well, someday when I’m grown up and can do what I want I’m gonna pee all over wherever I feel like and you can’t stop me ’cause I’ll be a grownup and you won’t be the boss anymore and I will pee anywhere I want.”  It was quite a relief to know that CLEARLY we had chosen the proper approach.

So in fifteen years or so, don’t avoid the obnoxious wino urinating in the alley next to the bar.  Give a cheerful wave and call out “Hi, Matthew!”  You may not want to mention it to me, though, because it’s very possible I might burst with pride over raising such a model citizen.

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July 18, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized.

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