More Matthew. (Because he honestly does talk more than the other three kids added together.)

So the wedding was great!  I did not trip and fall during the ceremony, and I’m pretty sure my boob did not pop out to say hi while I was dancing.  (But if it did, at least it’s on video!)  I actually REMEMBERED to nag my husband to bring the camera, and I am DETERMINED to pester him to post some pictures, although you can see just how well that has worked so far.  So although there will more about the wedding in the very near future, we are taking a short break for EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES.

Perhaps in the past I have mentioned that Matthew knows EVERYTHING.  (Sewiously.  For Weal.)  He shared some very little known facts with me this weekend:

-While watching an educational program about rain forest animals, he wondered aloud why they did not show the dolphins.  I foolishly ventured that dolphins do not live in South American rain forests, but I was spouting nonsense, because obviously THEY DO.  So NOW YOU KNOW.

-While eating a piece of fried chicken, his exact words were “What is this chicken from?”   Being of sub-par intelligence, I said “Safeway”.  After DRAMATICALLY ROLLING HIS EYES at my stupidity he clarified “No.  What animal is this chicken from?”  After blinking at him for a moment, I replied “Um… A CHICKEN.”  He disbelievingly asked “You mean this was made from a chicken?”, like I was making it up, and wouldn’t you know but I suddenly remembered A VERY IMPORTANT CHORE I had to do.  UPSTAIRS.  Where I could NO LONGER FRUITLESSLY DISCUSS POULTRY.

-Being a “good mother” (you in the back, stop laughing so loudly) I would never infer that my child is lazy, however frequently at times Matthew, ah, doesn’t feel like doing things.  Things like carrying in his water bottle from the car after a soccer game.  Since he was not currently holding anything else at the time I asked why, and he informed me VERY SERIOUSLY that he could not carry anything because he has NO OPPOSABLE THUMBS.  After glancing at his hands to make sure I was not the crazy one I assured him he did, however, once again, I WAS WRONG.  Also, the fact that he did not know what ‘opposable’ meant was completely irrelevant to this conversation.

Now I have to say that while he drives his father crazy, his absolute conviction in his faulty knowledge usually CRACKS ME UP.  Because when he is not using his teenagedgirlwithanattitudeproblem sass he shows such enthusiasm whenever he talks!  (Although I suppose his back-talking defiance is enthusiastic, just not in a FUNNY way.  At least not when it is directed at his mother.)  This morning he… (get ready!)… BENT A PAPER CLIP!  In case you are unaware, paper clips are metal.  So this means he BENT METAL WITH HIS BARE HANDS!  Just like the Incredible Hulk!  Sadly, his older brother was not very impressed with his feat of strength, but the nice thing about Matthew is that he was so impressed with himself, he didn’t care!  (Bare hands, people!)

So in short, he is loud, and opinionated, and likes to ramble long-windedly about things (and using words) that make no sense.  Oh, and he drives Mike insane.  I don’t know who he reminds me of, but by golly I LIKE HIM!


October 6, 2008. Tags: , . Uncategorized.


  1. Mike replied:

    Yes, I admit that Matthew at times drives me bonkers, but there are two reasons for this. First, as his father, I feel some sort of responsibility for relaying the correct knowledge of some of the few things I know about. Yet, no matter what evidence I present to the boy, I’m somehow still wrong.

    Second, in my opinion, if you are going to make an excuse to get out of something, such as opening a safety gate for yourself because you have a pair of shorts in your hand, at least put some effort into it. At an absolute minimum, have some clue of the meaning of the words you are using. While I’ll give him partial credit for his creativity, he’s a growing boy and will need to do better than that to fill his Dad’s shoes when it comes to excuses. Not that I try to get out of anything… I really couldn’t find the camera this morning or I would have put those wedding pictures up by now.

    On a final note, I will completely deny the insinuation that the boy’s voice, which just happens to resemble nails on a chalkboard and NEVER stops, has anything to do with my lack of patience.

  2. Alex replied:

    Not so quick ! Penguins washed up on the shore in Brazil yesterday (…..near the equator !

    Could it be that dolphins ARE in the rainforest ??

    According to the internet, Matthew is correct….there ARE dolphins in the rainforest (…..Costa Rica….with pictures to prove it.

    So, its very possible that AT THE TIME, Matthew was simply “opposed” to using his thumbs.

    I like him TOO !

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