Only 377 days until kindergarten

Jeez, I have not been writing at all lately.  UNFORTUNATELY there are only twelve days until school starts (not that I’m counting the seconds minutes hours days), but even then I will have the twins all day every day, still, because they ARE NOT GOING TO PRESCHOOL.  I am not going to get in to why, as it is a long and convoluted story, and I can hear you thinking “Um, Jennifer, ALL of  your stories are long and convoluted”, which is true, however this particular one happens to fill me with BONE- CRUSHING DESPAIR, so let us move onward!

Our family has grown!  We acquired two gerbils over the weekend, because with four kids, three cats, and a husband I don’t have enough to clean up after already.  To be honest I let the kids think they talked me in to it, but in actuality I have a predilection for cute small fuzzy animals.  And although they are boy gerbils (of course) they are are QUIET, which is a novelty around these parts.  But what to name them?  The second time I mistakenly referred to them as hamsters Matthew The Mouth Who Knows Everything And Is  Always Right shrilly shrieked “THEY AREN’T HAMSTERS, THEY’RE GERBILS!!!”, so you had better believe his smart-assed mother named the brown one ‘Hamster’.  And then Michael accidentally pronounced gerbil not as jurbil, but gerbil, as in gherkin and girdle, which was so cute that the gray one is now Gerbil.  So now we have Hamster and Gerbil, which the twins refer to as mice, so I’m predicting some serious rodent- identification issues in our new friends’ future.  Which is good, because everyone ELSE in this crazy house has issues, and I wouldn’t want them to feel left out.  (Of course constantly having several four-year-old fingers poking through the bars of their cage and tipping their house over probably would have taken care of that, but why leave things to chance?)

We watched The Princess Bride this morning, and the one guy looked a little familiar.  Turns out Mandy Patinkin has had an illustrious career in the dramatic arts spanning three decades, including roles in Yentyl, Dick Tracy, Chicago Hope, and (most recently) Criminal Minds.  I was not aware of any of that before now, though.  I recognized him from his role in the cinematic tour de force ELMO IN GROUCHLAND.  Because I am CULTURED like that!

I don’t remember what else I was going to write about.  In fighting over a car track Matthew “accidentally” kicked Gregory in the nose, which resulted in a deluge of blood over his shirt, his shorts, my shirt, my pants, the couch, the carpet, the kitchen floor, and several hand towels.  (The mice gerbils narrowly escaped the trail of carnage.)  Even the bleeder barely noticed, though- with the amount of blood shed around here on a daily basis someone could sever a limb and no one would be alarmed.  Hopefully one of these goons will become a world- renowned surgeon and be able to afford my room and board at The Home for the Demented and Insane!  (Although most days I feel like I am already there.)

Oh, I remember now!  I realized that I had my one year blogoversary!  In, ah, February, but I didn’t realize it until now, because I am ON TOP OF THINGS like that.  Anyway, where did the year (and a half) go?!  (That was a rhetorical question.  Please do not actually remind me.)  This calls for a celebration!  I’ll be the one gulping down vodka out of a paper cup while hiding from the kids behind the kitchen counter.  Feel free to join me!


August 15, 2009. Uncategorized.

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